Back East…Back in Time

So glad we were able to visit Great Aunt Carolyn. She is a zany gal! Loved visiting the spots we went when I was a kid, spending our summers in Massachusetts.

Mister Fisher

So, today B fishes…with the Misses….talking about how to fish, B said, “you put fish bait on a hook, throw it into the water. Then you wait. You have to be quiet, that will be hard for me. I like to breathe loud.”

What!?! Another post??!?

But it surely seed as if I’d fallen from the face of the planet!!

Nope.

Just engulfed by the harsh and tiring realities of raising a son (who is 4 and a freaking half now), being a wife, and working full time. And when I say “engulfed” – I mean engulfed!!!

This week we coined the phrase “Mom Fail” when I (or my wife) fail to get something done…like sunscreen before school or packing a snack for after swim lessons. Truth be told, there are so many Mom Fails…what I am trying is to own them, talk about them with lil’ B and show him how to move on after you “fail”. Teaching failure recovery, how to discuss the failure, reflect upon what may have caused the failure, and demonstrate what to do with that failure is current Job #1.

B will surely fail more than he succeeds…especially if he is really trying, really taking (calculated, I hope) risks. I want him to be in the habit of getting up, dusting off the remnants of the failure, and…moving forward to try again.

So, it is with this tone that I re-enter the blogging world….no flogging myself in remorse about the several years lapse…just acknowledge the failure….and move on.

Double agent

Somehow, I am leading two lives. At school I am obliged to teach to the test, well, to the standards…worded in the same format as the test…”the test”

At home, I seek creative ways to engage my son as an inquirer, bringing him to the brink of learning opportunities, allowing him to explore and find his passion…develop his talents.

Sigh.

What has happened to the institution of education…or has it always been this way and as an oblivious, creative soul…I didn’t realize it??!?

In any case, Mom’s gotta pay the mortgage and keep health insurance for the ‘fam. Plus, in whatever ways possible, I feel compelled to try keeping some creativity amidst the bubble in quizzes and progress monitoring….but it is hard.

Aviary on 34th

Aviary on 34th a video by merrymaryallegra on Flickr.

It is lovely….the beautiful birds singing…but they are relentless in their pursuit of the perfect trill and warble!

Coexist

Today 112 students from my school and I (and 11 other adults) sent a message to the universe (and others around the world) that is so layered:

COEXIST

Just let that ruminate for a bit. Sit with it.

Rain is good luck!

Lana’s new job is wonderful, awesome, and great…just what our family needed. Though, there are a lot of weekends to work,’even holiday ones like Memorial Day. (and Labor Day and 4th of July…) so, today’s rain on this holiday weekend is actually welcomed. With the rain brought a cancellation. This means, we get to spend the day as a family! Yay! B and I were going to head over to a friend’s party…now all 3 of us can go. Woot woot! Hope this doesn’t happen for other holiday weekends, but right now…we welcome the unexpected time together. 😉 hope you are out enjoying this weekend…and rain, too.

Looking back…

DSCN9745, a photo by merrymaryallegra on Flickr.

In Sunny Southern California, with our son, our upside down mortgage, and work…life is not nearly as clean and simple as it was in Alaska. sigh. Though, we have blessings today we’d only dreamed of back then, we are also tired, without the personal time on hand we might like, and other such drags on our situation….but, at least we have wonderful, peaceful memories to look back upon. They really do help sustain us through the more trying times when it seems like bills, laundry, and dirty diapers might eat us alive.

Letting go…

of the things that don’t really matter.  Yup.  Really, there is so very little that matters, yet there is SO MUCH that SEEMS TO MATTER A LOT.  It doesn’t.

Since becoming a mother, I have said more than once that I’ve never been dumber.  Literally, I have difficulty with basic recall of information, let alone square roots or finding the area of a circle.  That said, I’ve also never been happier.  I think the mother stupor that I find myself in could quite possibly be the best blessing ever…okay, Bennett is the best blessing ever, but…what a great side effect losing one’s mental acuity has been!

I find less desire to stress over the small stuff.  In most cases, I’m not holding the lame grudges and worrying about the lame stuff I have in the past.  My priorities are clearer.  What’s important has been elucidated.

1. Family…my little, 3 person, 1 dog family.

2. Friends…the extension of my family that give us the fun we need at just the right time.

3. Forests…well, really ecological health, but…that doesn’t start with an F, so the alliteration of my list would have been shot.

The rest of things: work, grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning, bank accounts,…they will work themselves out, more or less.  No need for me to lose any sleep over them…I have Bennett for that!  😉  Haha!  OK, time for bed, time to let go of wordsmithing this thing to perfection.  In motherhood, the only thing that needs to be perfect is the amount of time you get to spend with your baby.  So, off to bed for me now…our wonderful, cozy, co-sleeping bed!

Go forth and multiply…

As new mothers, my wife and I are not really that young. Our combined ages when our son was born was 70. We could be one grandmother, but…we are two moms.

The reason, in great part, that we came a bit later to this parenting party is because we really, really thought about it. There are so many people on this planet already. So many!

My sister has two boys, Lana’s sister is about to have her third…I am a teacher and it is common to see families with 5+ children. My sister and her husband have each, in essence, replaced themselves. When they die, they made humans to take their places. Lana’s sister and those with large families have more than replaced themselves.

In a time when Mother Earth struggles to keep pace with humanity, the thought of adding another being gave us pause. That is, until we thought about the lessons that might not be getting passed along in larger families. In larger families, is the message that walking lightly on the Earth given enough air time? Is the concept of less is more, of conservation of resources highlighted?

We feared that if we did not have a child, our beliefs and values would end with us. We feared the values of mass consumption would clog the airwaves and fog reality.

So, we had a son. One son. All our eggs are literally in that one basket. All our hopes are pinned on him. On the flip side, though, he is our only focus. He will get our best. He is our top priority. Only the oldest in a multiple-kid family can say that…until the next
one comes along.